Lumus or Humas (No not the disease)

I'm finally blogging again, as I've had an actual vote of confidence in my blog (really this wasn't just another figment of my imagination or a far-fetched fantasy...this actually happened with witnesses and all). I officially have a one precious reader (hi Jishai!)

So I shall try not to disappoint...

Humus Ful Abu Moch חומוס פול אבו מוך

We decided to order from this local joint called Humus Ful Abu Muchta (Ran says Abu Moch is funny enough in and of itself...but I am more partial to the Abu Muchta). I decided to be a renegade and try this place because I had already ordered from Humus Sayid in the past (which I forgot to take pics of - so I no official blog post) - and it was way oily *albeit very good* - so, I figured I'd give this place a whirl.

The ORDER: Kebab Lunch Deal with Two Sides (I took Humus [err, duh] + Rice) עסקית קבבונים על האש עם שתי תוספות
The PRICE: 28 NIS
EXTRAS: 1 Egg (2 NIS), 1 Serving of Falafel [5-6] - (5 NIS)

The DELIVERABLE: While I was ready to get extra excited about the order as it was packaged brilliantly - a phenomenon which has cost Bisim it's place at the top of my list of favorite places to order from...after one too many mistakes with mass-packaging - alas alack, nothing gold can stay apparently. Or it looks better on the hanger or insert any other cliche to the effect of - don't judge a book by it's cover (THERE YOU GO!) (And yes, I am fully aware that the first cliche doesn't actually mean that...but hey, there's a limit to what I can actually remember from the 6th grade).



After opening up my nicely packaged and labeled meal - they had replaced my rice with french fries. Really? If I intentionally ordered rice instead of the obviously better tasting french fries, perhaps there was a rationale to this strange predilection...and mayhap you could have deigned to ask if I had wanted a more healthy alternative. Sheesh (not kebab - no pun intended). On the up side - there was the unexpected pleasant surprise of a pita, pickles and olives, and some freebie salads on side that at least partially made up for the annoying side dish replacement. I should also mention that for 5 NIS the falafel was a nice portion.




The VERDICT: Good food + good price - but CARDINAL SIN of side dish replacement. Eh.


Lucas לוקאס (Again...)

I had been waiting for a Lucas Chef's Special for a couple of months now, at least (is that a little too obsessive? I had literally been checking every day - since I once saw somebody order the dish - and I had missed the boat), lo and behold the fine morning of December the 13th was the moment I had been waiting for.

The ORDER: Chef's Special - Beef Bourguignon - Beef Stew in Red Wine with Root Vegetables, Served with a Leafy Salad, Bread, and Olives and Pickles הצעת שף - ביף בורגיניון - צלי בקר ביין אדום עם ירקות שורש מוגש עם סלט עלים לחם וחמוצים
The PRICE: 29 NIS

Boy had I been waiting for this one - I excitedly tear open the wrapping like a child on the first day of Hanukkah - and no bread. Wah Wah Wah. Game over. How can you eat beef stew with no bread?! I ended up having to eat my meal with a spare laffa (a large flat semi-burned bread) - certainly not the crackly bread I was envisioning. And it wasn't even that good - a disappointment to say the least...not quite worth the wait. It lacked salt - and even tasted quite a bit watery.



The VERDICT: In this case, it was not better to have loved and lost...LAME.

I need these!

I want to win!!

Blogged Brain

I don't deserve you're readership...we're nearly at the end of November - and I have blogged nothing this month, there's been so much food/activity - I don't even know where to begin.

So I had quite a bit of River Noodles Bar this month (and yes - despite the fact that I always get the same dish - the Seven Wonders שבעת הפלאים) - I must say I can't get enough of this place. (The spouse ordered a different dish - Grilled Entrecote Slices on Fried Rice המנה של נוריקו סן- so I actally got to expand my River horizons). They make every dish well - and they give hefty portions. WE LOVE YOU RIVER!



Other than that - hosted a small Thanksgiving shindig (yes I know it's not quite Thanksgiving yet - but had extenuating circumstances that obliged the moving of theve event up a week).

Things I learned from this event:
1) Guitar Hero is seriously addictive.
2) Turkey is seriously addictive.
3) People will go into your bedroom - so don't dump the whole house in there expecting the door to remain closed. IT WON'T.



A new favorite dish discovered:

Lucas - Spaghetti and Meatballs (hold the cheese)
Not meatballs made with cumin and paprika intended for another dish - and added to this dish as an afterthought. Actual Italian-style spaghetti and meatballs. Good yum all around. (Note the beautiful basil sprinkled above.)



And to finish off a small 10Bis anecdote. So I made the annoying discovery that not every restaurant you can order from through the 10Bis website actually accepts 10Bis in the restaurant. What a pain. Just for reference, pretty much all of the Tel Aviv area 10Bis'ers DO NOT accept 10Bis to sit down - this after trying three different places (Bar Giyora, River Noodles Bar - I KNOW!, and Ze Sushi).

Spirits battered and broken, we decided to attempt ordering from our cell phones.

AND HERE IN PUBLIC IS MY ADMISSION - YOUR PHONE IS OFFICIALLY BETTER THAN MINE. I promised I'd admit it, so here it is. Are we even?

We actually managed to order from Ze Sushi (while standing outside the establishment) from the spouse's BlackBerry (my HTC Tytn II failed us). It's pretty funny because we actually got the "deal" עסקית option - which was the meal + an appetizer - instead of just the meal. SUCKERS.

Multiple Review

Ok, so I'm having serious blog discipline issues.

I'm going to multi-post at this point, since I've eaten at a lot of places since my last post, and I've been an utter failure at updating.


1. Pasion Rotisserie פסיון רוטיסרי

The ORDER: Roasted Lunch Deal - Quarter of Chicken served with a Starter, Two Side Dishes, and Four Dips of Choice
עסקית צלויים - רבע עוף עם מנת פתיחה, שתי תוספות, וארבע מתבלי בית
The PRICE: 38 NIS

My CHOICE: I asked for chicken breast, but apparently that is a different dish, and more expensive, so I got a chicken thigh + leg, liver pate with crostini, green vegetables, roasted potatoes, pickles, olive tapenade, pickled lemon, chili jam.



The DELIVERABLE: I'm already a big fan of their chicken sandwich (a regular order of mine - which although it comes a bit soggy sometimes - is huge + they put this beet spread thing in it which is uber-good), and I've even actually eaten at the place (yes, actually sitting inside the establishment!), so I decided to try something new.

While this is not exactly a cheap lunch deal, the whole package is definitely worthwhile. They deserve major props for their big portions, and very generous meal. The green vegetables came with brussel sprouts (which I love surprisingly enough) and are a rare menu item in Israel, peas (which I like less), and carrots (which I have no feelings at all about), and are flavored with this rosemary/thyme rub which is just lovable. The potatoes were two whole potatoes - a whole lotta potato going on. The chicken - well, how can you go wrong with rotisserie chicken? Spot on.

My friend (who has a healthy appetite) ordered the half a chicken meal, and was equally happy and full (which doesn't happen often). So good job Pasion!

The VERDICT: A great meal, came while it was still warm - a definite plus. Heftt portions.



2. Burgus Burger Bar בורגוס

The ORDER: Lunch Deal - Starter, Main Course, Side Dish, and Drink
עסקית צהריים - מנת פתיחה, מנה עיקרית, תוספת, ומשקה
The PRICE: 43 NIS

The CHOICE: Cauliflower Soup, Teriyaki Chicken Wings, Potato Wedges, Mint Lemonade







The DELIVERABLE: Cauliflower soup was good - a little lukewarm. They gave a nice amount of wings - wings is always a tough call because you might still be hungry and messy to boot - but I even managed to leave three on the plate (another rarity). The only thing is, I ordered the teriyaki wings because the sweet chili wings had dairy in them (and not to mention because I'm actually more partial to teriyaki chicken wings - well, I'm actually most partial to bbq chicken wings - which they didn't have - hence the bbq sauce on the side). I can honestly say if there was a drop of teriyaki in these wings, it was completely overshadowed by the SWEET CHILI SAUCE. Hello?! I feel like the two dishes are the exact same - just one uses butter and the other margarine or something. Definitely a bit disconcerting. I actually thought I was eating the dairy ones - and may have been quite vocal about this. On a good note though, they didn't only give the crappy half of the chicken wing - the part with the two bones - they also provided a substantial amount of miniature drumsticks (which easily are the superior part of the wing).

Other than that - the meal was good, and we even got the dessert free (sherbert - ordered for a friends birthday) - since as I mentioned I was rather vocal about the teriyaki-less wings.

The VERDICT: Recommended. Great service, nice portions, good flavor (even if it's not exactly the intended flavor). A for AFFORT.


3. La Lasagna לה לזניה



A quick review of this much-loved neighborhood lasagna place.

While this wasn't a Ten Bis order, I would like to mention that I love this place's lasagna. It's potentially the best kosher lasagna I've had yet. I like how you know they're making it on the spot with fresh pasta. My only gripe is that this place used to be a nice cheap place to eat - at 29 NIS, this was a steal for a nice piece of lasagna. The price now stands at 39 NIS for the classic lasagna - and five to seven shekels or so higher for the more fancy kinds. This isn't expensive per se for the Italian food experience, it just isn't so much cheap anymore. It's now about average, which for me, is like a 50% drop in their market value. Oh well.

Blatant False Advertising

So I'm flipping through this weekend's paper, and I happen upon the advertisement below.

Like every other consumer drawn in by colorful advertising, I was sold on this deal.

I head to the local Super-Pharm as soon as the holy Sabbath goes out, and scour the shelves for one 700 ML Herbal Essences Shampoo and/or Conditioner, with no luck. There are tens or hundreds of the smaller 300 or 400 ML Herbal Essences, but not a one 700 ML.

This is how the ensuing discourse went:

Me: Hi, you advertised this sale today in the newspaper, and you don't seem to have any on the shelves, can you please get me one from your stockroom?

Super-Pharm: We don't have any.

Me: But today is the first day of a two-week sale, surely you must have one.

SP: It says at the bottom "While Supplies Last".

Me: Yes, that is true. But it also says that this is a two week sale, and you don't even have stock for the very first day.

SP: Sorry.

Me: I'd be happy to take two of the smaller size instead.

SP: We can't do that.

Me: But it's virtually the same amount.

SP: Sorry, no can do. (This is paraphrased).

Me: You don't have to be snooty.

SP: Snooty?

Me: Snotty.

SP: Snotty?* (This too may be paraphrased or borrowed from a popular John Hughes film).

What gives?! I've had it with these places advertising an item on sale and then not having even one item on the first day of the sale. That has to be illegal. There has to be some kind of reasonable timeframe within which these companies can't invoke the disclaimer. If they're advertising a two week sale, it should be considered within reason that they should be required to have supplies for the first say three days or so according to an expected increase in purchases, no?

This happened to me at the supermarket chain Machsaney Kima'at Chinam - where they advertised a two-day sale on the meat section, I came on the first day and they didn't have anything from what they advertised.

This is also a common ploy at that furniture chain, India, but I think it's commonly known that they're big fat booger shnots. (This being the professional term, of course).

Stupid Game Show Answers

I just discovered this user on YouTube called Stupid Game Show Answers - and I became addicted to their videos.

I bring you two of the funniest clips I've seen in a long time. I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard.

The first clip in each of the videos is the one to watch for. (The rest are pretty lame).

Plicysisterines or otherwise spelled "P-l-e-i-o-c-e-t-e-n-e-s-o-u-s"

Talk about a bunch of monkeys. The first chick actually sounds mentally deficient when she speaks.

Lucas with the Lid Off

I was really craving a burger when Yom Kippur got out (but couldn't satisfy the urge that evening - so it had to hold off for the next day). My office mates have a tendency to think that Burger Ranch = burger, but I needed a real burger.

So I did the responsible thing, I ordered Lucas.

Lucas should actually be commended - a while back they lowered their lunch deal prices by 22% - and now their 250 gr burger deal is actually quite a bit cheaper than Burger Ranch!

The ORDER: 250 Gram Burger Lunch Deal עסקית בורגר 250 גרם with one side dish (Fries, Israeli Salad, Rice, Mashed Potatoes) - I ordered with Fries

The PRICE: 29 NIS

Special Requests: My friend asked for only lettuce, and they came through. You also had the choice of selecting the degree of cooking - I chose Medium (since I thought Medium Rare wouldn't go over so well in a delivery).

The DELIVERABLE: A nice big burger packaged separately from the fries, and clearly marked with degree of cooking, and special requests. Since it comes from Tel Aviv, and a good couple of hours later - the one perk about ordering Burger Ranch, where it comes hot from the grill - it came cold. This burger definitely blows any burger chain burger out of the water - that is a tasty burger. I also liked that you get a nice little baggie with condiments - with a nice amount to pull you through the meal without having to search the kitchen drawers for extras - and they were Heinz (none of this Osem madness). They probably could have been more generous about the fries, but seeing as I didn't even manage to finish my burger (I know, pathetic), I shouldn't be greedy.

The VERDICT: Probably would have been a better sit in meal, but definitely value for the money, and a good burger in general. Good stuff.