Thursday, December 24, 2009

Expansion Project

The last post of the year...wish me luck...

As part of my over-developed sense of justice, I decided to expand my blog from just restau-rants (clever play on words provided by and courtesy of Josephus Main...all rights reserved)...into another realm (since I'm a'feared my dedicated readers need more).

Being an avid eBay disciple (actually more of an eBay junkie - emphasis on junk), and as with anything I am avidly dedicated to, I have much to say on the subject...

And even though I like to believe I've become a veritable eBay aficionada - I have always believed there should be an eBay forum for the many diverse eBay encounters out there.

I don't feel the one hundred and whatever characters of feedback are really capable of properly conveying the intricacies of eBay politics (sorry Twitterites).

More to come...

For the Love of Yogurt?

Just when I thought this Muesli to Go place was ready to fall on its face and wither away into oblivion...

We get another such place?!

And this place called MyGranola charges[now brace yourself this is going to be hideously painful...] between 38 and 50 NIS for friggin' yogurt?!

I could get a garbage bag full of yogurt/fruit and/or granola for that price - and half a garbage bag full of all of those for that price.

Really? You have to uber-dedicated to yogurt eating to pay 40 NIS for it.

What alternate delusional universe are these people living in?

But then again, anything is possible in Tel Aviv.

(Oh...and hi Lior! Thanks for the popcorn, and for reading!) :-)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Honorable Mentions קצרים

Below is an amalgamation of things I should have posted about long ago. So in no real notable order - kind of like the Torah...

GOOD EXPERIENCE: Adrenaline junkies that we are - on a day that we had 45 minutes TOTAL for our afternoon meal - we decided why order when you can go to the local burger joint?! We decided to head to Black Bar N' Burger בלאק בר נ' בורגר in Petach Tikva - and by the time we parked we had somewhere in the vicinity of 39 minutes for our entire escapade - including the drive back to the office. We notify the waitress of this even before we sit down - saying, if she doesn't think they can uphold the tight timeframe - then we'll order take out instead. Lo and behold - Black like a good challenge themselves. "Bring it on", says she. We told them whatever's ready - bring it out. Also - without regard to any specific chronological order.

Booooooy did they deliver. Quicker than we could eat - (well, me, not the boys) - they had our orders out. Drinks, starters, 2 burgers, and a salad. (Yeah, guess who that was...I know I should be so ashamed I shouldn't even be posting this - but in my own defense, the spouse and I had already planned on big fat steaks that night - and despite being a meat lover - even that was too much cow for my conscience).

WORSE EXPERIENCE: The office decides to order Burger Ranch בורגר ראנץ' this week, and while till now I've been a Burger Ranch refusenik (as a result of a previous bad experience) - I decided to give them another try. We place the order and shortly thereafter they give me a call (below is a short transcript of the conversation):
Burger Ranch: Hi, you asked for the sauce on the side, and that'll be an extra shekel.
Me: Really? But if I had asked for it inside the burger it would be the same price?
BR: That's correct.
Me: Ok, no thanks.
BR: The other burger that was ordered - we don't have sour kraut.
Me: Um, that sucks.
BR: The person who ordered juice, we don't have that either.
Me: Allow me to patch you through to my colleagues.
BR: We don't have any juice.
Colleague A: Ok - then I'd like an extra side of fries instead.
BR: Ok, we'll send juice. (I SWEAR THIS IS ALL FACTUAL).
BR to Colleague B: We don't have any sour kraut.
Colleague B: That's cool. (He's just such a nice guy).

And then after this conversation the meal failed to arrive for nearly another two hours, and this branch is five minutes walking distance from our offices. Huh?

(Just as an aside, the meal itself wasn't half bad, but the whole song and dance before left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Oh and the last bite was burnt. It could've been that too.)


EXCITING NEWS FOR THE JEWS (and any and all other races and ethnicities):
A) So I had initially soured a bit on River when in my last order I had asked for extra sweet potato chip things they put on top of the noodles - and didn't receive any...and then TODAY (drum roll please...) - I discover that for a measly five new Israeli shekels - I can have a whooooole box of 'em! WOOOOHOOO! Gooooo River ריבר! It just gets better and better!

2) Pinati פינתי has come to Petach Tikva - and yes, I have already, had their very lovable Kubeh Chamusta. (And they got rave reviews all around - even from the chicks in accounting who are hard-asses. More than me...if you can believe it.)

iii) The higher you climb the harder the fall. BISIM ביסים ARE POOPIES! (Not food-wise - but service-wise). So they forgot the same chick's order TWICE in one week, and everytime she called them they either 1) accused her of being a pathological liar; or b) told her they didn't have time to deal with her. LAME is an understatement. If you forget a person's meal not once but twice in one week - you had best apologize all over yourself, and offer serious restitution. No, the lame coke you offered does not constitue serious restitution. We now hate you. Demoted.

That's all for now.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Lumus or Humas (No not the disease)

I'm finally blogging again, as I've had an actual vote of confidence in my blog (really this wasn't just another figment of my imagination or a far-fetched fantasy...this actually happened with witnesses and all). I officially have a one precious reader (hi Jishai!)

So I shall try not to disappoint...

Humus Ful Abu Moch חומוס פול אבו מוך

We decided to order from this local joint called Humus Ful Abu Muchta (Ran says Abu Moch is funny enough in and of itself...but I am more partial to the Abu Muchta). I decided to be a renegade and try this place because I had already ordered from Humus Sayid in the past (which I forgot to take pics of - so I no official blog post) - and it was way oily *albeit very good* - so, I figured I'd give this place a whirl.

The ORDER: Kebab Lunch Deal with Two Sides (I took Humus [err, duh] + Rice) עסקית קבבונים על האש עם שתי תוספות
The PRICE: 28 NIS
EXTRAS: 1 Egg (2 NIS), 1 Serving of Falafel [5-6] - (5 NIS)

The DELIVERABLE: While I was ready to get extra excited about the order as it was packaged brilliantly - a phenomenon which has cost Bisim it's place at the top of my list of favorite places to order from...after one too many mistakes with mass-packaging - alas alack, nothing gold can stay apparently. Or it looks better on the hanger or insert any other cliche to the effect of - don't judge a book by it's cover (THERE YOU GO!) (And yes, I am fully aware that the first cliche doesn't actually mean that...but hey, there's a limit to what I can actually remember from the 6th grade).



After opening up my nicely packaged and labeled meal - they had replaced my rice with french fries. Really? If I intentionally ordered rice instead of the obviously better tasting french fries, perhaps there was a rationale to this strange predilection...and mayhap you could have deigned to ask if I had wanted a more healthy alternative. Sheesh (not kebab - no pun intended). On the up side - there was the unexpected pleasant surprise of a pita, pickles and olives, and some freebie salads on side that at least partially made up for the annoying side dish replacement. I should also mention that for 5 NIS the falafel was a nice portion.




The VERDICT: Good food + good price - but CARDINAL SIN of side dish replacement. Eh.


Lucas לוקאס (Again...)

I had been waiting for a Lucas Chef's Special for a couple of months now, at least (is that a little too obsessive? I had literally been checking every day - since I once saw somebody order the dish - and I had missed the boat), lo and behold the fine morning of December the 13th was the moment I had been waiting for.

The ORDER: Chef's Special - Beef Bourguignon - Beef Stew in Red Wine with Root Vegetables, Served with a Leafy Salad, Bread, and Olives and Pickles הצעת שף - ביף בורגיניון - צלי בקר ביין אדום עם ירקות שורש מוגש עם סלט עלים לחם וחמוצים
The PRICE: 29 NIS

Boy had I been waiting for this one - I excitedly tear open the wrapping like a child on the first day of Hanukkah - and no bread. Wah Wah Wah. Game over. How can you eat beef stew with no bread?! I ended up having to eat my meal with a spare laffa (a large flat semi-burned bread) - certainly not the crackly bread I was envisioning. And it wasn't even that good - a disappointment to say the least...not quite worth the wait. It lacked salt - and even tasted quite a bit watery.



The VERDICT: In this case, it was not better to have loved and lost...LAME.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009