Expansion Project

The last post of the year...wish me luck...

As part of my over-developed sense of justice, I decided to expand my blog from just restau-rants (clever play on words provided by and courtesy of Josephus Main...all rights reserved)...into another realm (since I'm a'feared my dedicated readers need more).

Being an avid eBay disciple (actually more of an eBay junkie - emphasis on junk), and as with anything I am avidly dedicated to, I have much to say on the subject...

And even though I like to believe I've become a veritable eBay aficionada - I have always believed there should be an eBay forum for the many diverse eBay encounters out there.

I don't feel the one hundred and whatever characters of feedback are really capable of properly conveying the intricacies of eBay politics (sorry Twitterites).

More to come...

For the Love of Yogurt?

Just when I thought this Muesli to Go place was ready to fall on its face and wither away into oblivion...

We get another such place?!

And this place called MyGranola charges[now brace yourself this is going to be hideously painful...] between 38 and 50 NIS for friggin' yogurt?!

I could get a garbage bag full of yogurt/fruit and/or granola for that price - and half a garbage bag full of all of those for that price.

Really? You have to uber-dedicated to yogurt eating to pay 40 NIS for it.

What alternate delusional universe are these people living in?

But then again, anything is possible in Tel Aviv.

(Oh...and hi Lior! Thanks for the popcorn, and for reading!) :-)

Honorable Mentions קצרים

Below is an amalgamation of things I should have posted about long ago. So in no real notable order - kind of like the Torah...

GOOD EXPERIENCE: Adrenaline junkies that we are - on a day that we had 45 minutes TOTAL for our afternoon meal - we decided why order when you can go to the local burger joint?! We decided to head to Black Bar N' Burger בלאק בר נ' בורגר in Petach Tikva - and by the time we parked we had somewhere in the vicinity of 39 minutes for our entire escapade - including the drive back to the office. We notify the waitress of this even before we sit down - saying, if she doesn't think they can uphold the tight timeframe - then we'll order take out instead. Lo and behold - Black like a good challenge themselves. "Bring it on", says she. We told them whatever's ready - bring it out. Also - without regard to any specific chronological order.

Booooooy did they deliver. Quicker than we could eat - (well, me, not the boys) - they had our orders out. Drinks, starters, 2 burgers, and a salad. (Yeah, guess who that was...I know I should be so ashamed I shouldn't even be posting this - but in my own defense, the spouse and I had already planned on big fat steaks that night - and despite being a meat lover - even that was too much cow for my conscience).

WORSE EXPERIENCE: The office decides to order Burger Ranch בורגר ראנץ' this week, and while till now I've been a Burger Ranch refusenik (as a result of a previous bad experience) - I decided to give them another try. We place the order and shortly thereafter they give me a call (below is a short transcript of the conversation):
Burger Ranch: Hi, you asked for the sauce on the side, and that'll be an extra shekel.
Me: Really? But if I had asked for it inside the burger it would be the same price?
BR: That's correct.
Me: Ok, no thanks.
BR: The other burger that was ordered - we don't have sour kraut.
Me: Um, that sucks.
BR: The person who ordered juice, we don't have that either.
Me: Allow me to patch you through to my colleagues.
BR: We don't have any juice.
Colleague A: Ok - then I'd like an extra side of fries instead.
BR: Ok, we'll send juice. (I SWEAR THIS IS ALL FACTUAL).
BR to Colleague B: We don't have any sour kraut.
Colleague B: That's cool. (He's just such a nice guy).

And then after this conversation the meal failed to arrive for nearly another two hours, and this branch is five minutes walking distance from our offices. Huh?

(Just as an aside, the meal itself wasn't half bad, but the whole song and dance before left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. Oh and the last bite was burnt. It could've been that too.)


EXCITING NEWS FOR THE JEWS (and any and all other races and ethnicities):
A) So I had initially soured a bit on River when in my last order I had asked for extra sweet potato chip things they put on top of the noodles - and didn't receive any...and then TODAY (drum roll please...) - I discover that for a measly five new Israeli shekels - I can have a whooooole box of 'em! WOOOOHOOO! Gooooo River ריבר! It just gets better and better!

2) Pinati פינתי has come to Petach Tikva - and yes, I have already, had their very lovable Kubeh Chamusta. (And they got rave reviews all around - even from the chicks in accounting who are hard-asses. More than me...if you can believe it.)

iii) The higher you climb the harder the fall. BISIM ביסים ARE POOPIES! (Not food-wise - but service-wise). So they forgot the same chick's order TWICE in one week, and everytime she called them they either 1) accused her of being a pathological liar; or b) told her they didn't have time to deal with her. LAME is an understatement. If you forget a person's meal not once but twice in one week - you had best apologize all over yourself, and offer serious restitution. No, the lame coke you offered does not constitue serious restitution. We now hate you. Demoted.

That's all for now.

Lumus or Humas (No not the disease)

I'm finally blogging again, as I've had an actual vote of confidence in my blog (really this wasn't just another figment of my imagination or a far-fetched fantasy...this actually happened with witnesses and all). I officially have a one precious reader (hi Jishai!)

So I shall try not to disappoint...

Humus Ful Abu Moch חומוס פול אבו מוך

We decided to order from this local joint called Humus Ful Abu Muchta (Ran says Abu Moch is funny enough in and of itself...but I am more partial to the Abu Muchta). I decided to be a renegade and try this place because I had already ordered from Humus Sayid in the past (which I forgot to take pics of - so I no official blog post) - and it was way oily *albeit very good* - so, I figured I'd give this place a whirl.

The ORDER: Kebab Lunch Deal with Two Sides (I took Humus [err, duh] + Rice) עסקית קבבונים על האש עם שתי תוספות
The PRICE: 28 NIS
EXTRAS: 1 Egg (2 NIS), 1 Serving of Falafel [5-6] - (5 NIS)

The DELIVERABLE: While I was ready to get extra excited about the order as it was packaged brilliantly - a phenomenon which has cost Bisim it's place at the top of my list of favorite places to order from...after one too many mistakes with mass-packaging - alas alack, nothing gold can stay apparently. Or it looks better on the hanger or insert any other cliche to the effect of - don't judge a book by it's cover (THERE YOU GO!) (And yes, I am fully aware that the first cliche doesn't actually mean that...but hey, there's a limit to what I can actually remember from the 6th grade).



After opening up my nicely packaged and labeled meal - they had replaced my rice with french fries. Really? If I intentionally ordered rice instead of the obviously better tasting french fries, perhaps there was a rationale to this strange predilection...and mayhap you could have deigned to ask if I had wanted a more healthy alternative. Sheesh (not kebab - no pun intended). On the up side - there was the unexpected pleasant surprise of a pita, pickles and olives, and some freebie salads on side that at least partially made up for the annoying side dish replacement. I should also mention that for 5 NIS the falafel was a nice portion.




The VERDICT: Good food + good price - but CARDINAL SIN of side dish replacement. Eh.


Lucas לוקאס (Again...)

I had been waiting for a Lucas Chef's Special for a couple of months now, at least (is that a little too obsessive? I had literally been checking every day - since I once saw somebody order the dish - and I had missed the boat), lo and behold the fine morning of December the 13th was the moment I had been waiting for.

The ORDER: Chef's Special - Beef Bourguignon - Beef Stew in Red Wine with Root Vegetables, Served with a Leafy Salad, Bread, and Olives and Pickles הצעת שף - ביף בורגיניון - צלי בקר ביין אדום עם ירקות שורש מוגש עם סלט עלים לחם וחמוצים
The PRICE: 29 NIS

Boy had I been waiting for this one - I excitedly tear open the wrapping like a child on the first day of Hanukkah - and no bread. Wah Wah Wah. Game over. How can you eat beef stew with no bread?! I ended up having to eat my meal with a spare laffa (a large flat semi-burned bread) - certainly not the crackly bread I was envisioning. And it wasn't even that good - a disappointment to say the least...not quite worth the wait. It lacked salt - and even tasted quite a bit watery.



The VERDICT: In this case, it was not better to have loved and lost...LAME.

I need these!

I want to win!!

Blogged Brain

I don't deserve you're readership...we're nearly at the end of November - and I have blogged nothing this month, there's been so much food/activity - I don't even know where to begin.

So I had quite a bit of River Noodles Bar this month (and yes - despite the fact that I always get the same dish - the Seven Wonders שבעת הפלאים) - I must say I can't get enough of this place. (The spouse ordered a different dish - Grilled Entrecote Slices on Fried Rice המנה של נוריקו סן- so I actally got to expand my River horizons). They make every dish well - and they give hefty portions. WE LOVE YOU RIVER!



Other than that - hosted a small Thanksgiving shindig (yes I know it's not quite Thanksgiving yet - but had extenuating circumstances that obliged the moving of theve event up a week).

Things I learned from this event:
1) Guitar Hero is seriously addictive.
2) Turkey is seriously addictive.
3) People will go into your bedroom - so don't dump the whole house in there expecting the door to remain closed. IT WON'T.



A new favorite dish discovered:

Lucas - Spaghetti and Meatballs (hold the cheese)
Not meatballs made with cumin and paprika intended for another dish - and added to this dish as an afterthought. Actual Italian-style spaghetti and meatballs. Good yum all around. (Note the beautiful basil sprinkled above.)



And to finish off a small 10Bis anecdote. So I made the annoying discovery that not every restaurant you can order from through the 10Bis website actually accepts 10Bis in the restaurant. What a pain. Just for reference, pretty much all of the Tel Aviv area 10Bis'ers DO NOT accept 10Bis to sit down - this after trying three different places (Bar Giyora, River Noodles Bar - I KNOW!, and Ze Sushi).

Spirits battered and broken, we decided to attempt ordering from our cell phones.

AND HERE IN PUBLIC IS MY ADMISSION - YOUR PHONE IS OFFICIALLY BETTER THAN MINE. I promised I'd admit it, so here it is. Are we even?

We actually managed to order from Ze Sushi (while standing outside the establishment) from the spouse's BlackBerry (my HTC Tytn II failed us). It's pretty funny because we actually got the "deal" עסקית option - which was the meal + an appetizer - instead of just the meal. SUCKERS.

Multiple Review

Ok, so I'm having serious blog discipline issues.

I'm going to multi-post at this point, since I've eaten at a lot of places since my last post, and I've been an utter failure at updating.


1. Pasion Rotisserie פסיון רוטיסרי

The ORDER: Roasted Lunch Deal - Quarter of Chicken served with a Starter, Two Side Dishes, and Four Dips of Choice
עסקית צלויים - רבע עוף עם מנת פתיחה, שתי תוספות, וארבע מתבלי בית
The PRICE: 38 NIS

My CHOICE: I asked for chicken breast, but apparently that is a different dish, and more expensive, so I got a chicken thigh + leg, liver pate with crostini, green vegetables, roasted potatoes, pickles, olive tapenade, pickled lemon, chili jam.



The DELIVERABLE: I'm already a big fan of their chicken sandwich (a regular order of mine - which although it comes a bit soggy sometimes - is huge + they put this beet spread thing in it which is uber-good), and I've even actually eaten at the place (yes, actually sitting inside the establishment!), so I decided to try something new.

While this is not exactly a cheap lunch deal, the whole package is definitely worthwhile. They deserve major props for their big portions, and very generous meal. The green vegetables came with brussel sprouts (which I love surprisingly enough) and are a rare menu item in Israel, peas (which I like less), and carrots (which I have no feelings at all about), and are flavored with this rosemary/thyme rub which is just lovable. The potatoes were two whole potatoes - a whole lotta potato going on. The chicken - well, how can you go wrong with rotisserie chicken? Spot on.

My friend (who has a healthy appetite) ordered the half a chicken meal, and was equally happy and full (which doesn't happen often). So good job Pasion!

The VERDICT: A great meal, came while it was still warm - a definite plus. Heftt portions.



2. Burgus Burger Bar בורגוס

The ORDER: Lunch Deal - Starter, Main Course, Side Dish, and Drink
עסקית צהריים - מנת פתיחה, מנה עיקרית, תוספת, ומשקה
The PRICE: 43 NIS

The CHOICE: Cauliflower Soup, Teriyaki Chicken Wings, Potato Wedges, Mint Lemonade







The DELIVERABLE: Cauliflower soup was good - a little lukewarm. They gave a nice amount of wings - wings is always a tough call because you might still be hungry and messy to boot - but I even managed to leave three on the plate (another rarity). The only thing is, I ordered the teriyaki wings because the sweet chili wings had dairy in them (and not to mention because I'm actually more partial to teriyaki chicken wings - well, I'm actually most partial to bbq chicken wings - which they didn't have - hence the bbq sauce on the side). I can honestly say if there was a drop of teriyaki in these wings, it was completely overshadowed by the SWEET CHILI SAUCE. Hello?! I feel like the two dishes are the exact same - just one uses butter and the other margarine or something. Definitely a bit disconcerting. I actually thought I was eating the dairy ones - and may have been quite vocal about this. On a good note though, they didn't only give the crappy half of the chicken wing - the part with the two bones - they also provided a substantial amount of miniature drumsticks (which easily are the superior part of the wing).

Other than that - the meal was good, and we even got the dessert free (sherbert - ordered for a friends birthday) - since as I mentioned I was rather vocal about the teriyaki-less wings.

The VERDICT: Recommended. Great service, nice portions, good flavor (even if it's not exactly the intended flavor). A for AFFORT.


3. La Lasagna לה לזניה



A quick review of this much-loved neighborhood lasagna place.

While this wasn't a Ten Bis order, I would like to mention that I love this place's lasagna. It's potentially the best kosher lasagna I've had yet. I like how you know they're making it on the spot with fresh pasta. My only gripe is that this place used to be a nice cheap place to eat - at 29 NIS, this was a steal for a nice piece of lasagna. The price now stands at 39 NIS for the classic lasagna - and five to seven shekels or so higher for the more fancy kinds. This isn't expensive per se for the Italian food experience, it just isn't so much cheap anymore. It's now about average, which for me, is like a 50% drop in their market value. Oh well.

Blatant False Advertising

So I'm flipping through this weekend's paper, and I happen upon the advertisement below.

Like every other consumer drawn in by colorful advertising, I was sold on this deal.

I head to the local Super-Pharm as soon as the holy Sabbath goes out, and scour the shelves for one 700 ML Herbal Essences Shampoo and/or Conditioner, with no luck. There are tens or hundreds of the smaller 300 or 400 ML Herbal Essences, but not a one 700 ML.

This is how the ensuing discourse went:

Me: Hi, you advertised this sale today in the newspaper, and you don't seem to have any on the shelves, can you please get me one from your stockroom?

Super-Pharm: We don't have any.

Me: But today is the first day of a two-week sale, surely you must have one.

SP: It says at the bottom "While Supplies Last".

Me: Yes, that is true. But it also says that this is a two week sale, and you don't even have stock for the very first day.

SP: Sorry.

Me: I'd be happy to take two of the smaller size instead.

SP: We can't do that.

Me: But it's virtually the same amount.

SP: Sorry, no can do. (This is paraphrased).

Me: You don't have to be snooty.

SP: Snooty?

Me: Snotty.

SP: Snotty?* (This too may be paraphrased or borrowed from a popular John Hughes film).

What gives?! I've had it with these places advertising an item on sale and then not having even one item on the first day of the sale. That has to be illegal. There has to be some kind of reasonable timeframe within which these companies can't invoke the disclaimer. If they're advertising a two week sale, it should be considered within reason that they should be required to have supplies for the first say three days or so according to an expected increase in purchases, no?

This happened to me at the supermarket chain Machsaney Kima'at Chinam - where they advertised a two-day sale on the meat section, I came on the first day and they didn't have anything from what they advertised.

This is also a common ploy at that furniture chain, India, but I think it's commonly known that they're big fat booger shnots. (This being the professional term, of course).

Stupid Game Show Answers

I just discovered this user on YouTube called Stupid Game Show Answers - and I became addicted to their videos.

I bring you two of the funniest clips I've seen in a long time. I couldn't breathe from laughing so hard.

The first clip in each of the videos is the one to watch for. (The rest are pretty lame).

Plicysisterines or otherwise spelled "P-l-e-i-o-c-e-t-e-n-e-s-o-u-s"

Talk about a bunch of monkeys. The first chick actually sounds mentally deficient when she speaks.

Lucas with the Lid Off

I was really craving a burger when Yom Kippur got out (but couldn't satisfy the urge that evening - so it had to hold off for the next day). My office mates have a tendency to think that Burger Ranch = burger, but I needed a real burger.

So I did the responsible thing, I ordered Lucas.

Lucas should actually be commended - a while back they lowered their lunch deal prices by 22% - and now their 250 gr burger deal is actually quite a bit cheaper than Burger Ranch!

The ORDER: 250 Gram Burger Lunch Deal עסקית בורגר 250 גרם with one side dish (Fries, Israeli Salad, Rice, Mashed Potatoes) - I ordered with Fries

The PRICE: 29 NIS

Special Requests: My friend asked for only lettuce, and they came through. You also had the choice of selecting the degree of cooking - I chose Medium (since I thought Medium Rare wouldn't go over so well in a delivery).

The DELIVERABLE: A nice big burger packaged separately from the fries, and clearly marked with degree of cooking, and special requests. Since it comes from Tel Aviv, and a good couple of hours later - the one perk about ordering Burger Ranch, where it comes hot from the grill - it came cold. This burger definitely blows any burger chain burger out of the water - that is a tasty burger. I also liked that you get a nice little baggie with condiments - with a nice amount to pull you through the meal without having to search the kitchen drawers for extras - and they were Heinz (none of this Osem madness). They probably could have been more generous about the fries, but seeing as I didn't even manage to finish my burger (I know, pathetic), I shouldn't be greedy.

The VERDICT: Probably would have been a better sit in meal, but definitely value for the money, and a good burger in general. Good stuff.

Bubble Rap

I'm a little 10Bis obsessed (in the off chance that detail was somehow missed).

I went out to this pub the other night and decided to have some eats.

When I received the menu, I saw that they had this sort of a symbiotic relationship with the restaurant Bubble - a 10Bis restaurant. (You can imagine my pleasure at seeing this. I was like Jojo the idiot circus boy.) I immediately asked if they accept 10Bis. To which I received a curt 'No'. My over-developed sense of justice attempted to pursue this a bit further (knowing Bubble is a 10Bis restaurant) - to no avail. Alas, I ordered without the 10Bis - which (bearing in mind my previous post Epiphany) - may have influenced the quality of the order.

I should note that I was especially pleased - as this is a restaurant that is usually out of my distribution area (yes, I sometimes login with my spouse's 10Bis to see everything I'm missing out on working outside of the Tel Aviv metropolitan area).

The ORDER: The steak sandwich.
The PRICE: At 31 NIS was a steal, in my opinion - especially at a pub at prime hours.

The DELIVERABLE: I apologize for the lack of pictures (flashless cameraphone in a dark pub = no pictures) - but I'll try and be as graphic as possible. First off, the bread was like this homemade number which was a cross between a bun and an English muffin (just not as dry) - flat on both sides but nice and supple inside. There was a nice amount of meat -which was exactly steak sandwich style - none of this faux steak - roastbeef-esque - business. Fresh veggies + spicy mayonnaise + ketchup make for a goooood sandwich.

The VERDICT: Definitely a good investment. Plus it arrived super-fast for a delivery. Stars all around. (Again though, ordered minus 10Bis - which contributes to the growing 10Bis disrespect theory).

How Low Can You Go?

I've been having a bit of trouble finding my muse - you know the fuel for my musings lately...I think I may have just had an overwhelming week + I've been sticking to salad lately - holiday season and all, which really is not so interesting to write about. Ugh, chick/[Insert Herbivorous Animal Here] food.

Which may also be the reason that random things are really starting to really piss me off. (More than usual, that is). No, I don't have my period.

I'd like to discuss the fabled "Israeli Breakfast", and then potentially get sidetracked to other, perhaps apparently unrelated subjects.

What is the deal with the price of the Israeli Breakfast lately? Is it just me or are establishments a little off their rocker?!

Once upon a time the Israeli Breakfast cost between 25 - 30 NIS. Inflation, shmita, [Insert Excuse Here] - and hopa prices go up. 30 - 35 NIS. Which is already an exorbitant amount to pay for a couple of eggs some salad, cheese, and jam. Sometimes coffee and juice, sometimes just one or the other.

Today finding an Israeli Breakfast priced between 35 - 40 NIS - you feel like you won the lottery, and even better if it comes with juice and coffee. But then LO AND BEHOLD and prices are scratching the 50 NIS!

Yeah, I get it rent in Tel Aviv, overhead etc. etc. Really - this entire breakfast is costing them at best 15 NIS. So really - get over the overhead. This is a daylight robbery.

It makes you think of If you Give a Mouse a Cookie. Or what they call in Israel - Shitat Matzliach שיטת מצליח. (A quick translation - The Success Method - you try, if you succeed, Great! If not, no harm in trying).

You feel like you really want to hug the owners of establishments like Bar Gurion who still only charge 30 NIS (should we let them in on the secret that it's gone up way more...?)

I actually get up and walk out of establishments that charge more than 40 NIS. I think that's the only thing left for me to do as a consumer, as the world goes nuts around me. (For the record, places like Duck's on Gordon and Dizengoff, and Cafeneto that charge nearly 50 NIS actually are the cheapest about breakfast too. They'll actually only serve as if you're one person, instead of a couple. And you'll ask them about it - and they'll say - "you can always ask for more". At Cafeneto - we actually had to beg for olives and more than three slices of cheese. For nearly 50 NIS! If you're charging me nearly 50 NIS for an Israeli Breakfast - it better be the best damn Israeli Breakfast I've ever had. Hell the friggin Hilton charges 70 NIS - and there it's an insane buffet - and the guy makes your egg right in front of you - and you can have 10 if you want.) Have people gone mad?!

It's the same story with rent prices in Tel Aviv, and Coke in restaurants these days. I've actually heard about people paying 2800 NIS for 25 meter apartments, and at Goocha they charge 11 NIS for a bottle (no not 500 ML) of Coke.

How much chutzpah can this city have?

Eat your Vegetables!

I'm aware I'm double-posting but I didn't realize how difficult it is to actually maintain a blog (I was pretty sure at some my point this blog would become self-sufficient).

My friends ordered from a new Asian place - and since nothing really appealed to me on their menu (have I mentioned that I'm picky with my stir-fry?) - I went out on a limb with something completely different.

Tag'in טאג'ין

The ORDER: Lunch Deal Main Dish with Two Side Dishes served with Pickled Vegetables עסקית מנה עיקרית ושתי תוספות וחמוצי הבית

The PRICE: 29 NIS

My CHOICE: Chicken Meatballs with Olives, Buchari (I'm definitely misspelling this one) Ushpalau Rice, and Vegetables

The DELIVERABLE: The packaging was leaky - which I hate, by the time you've gotten the food to the kitchen it's dripped halfway across the office - and then you have that panic attack when you actually have to open the bag and you know it's going to spill everywhere in the kitchen too.

The chicken meatballs and olives were spot on - they tasted just like home - and the meatballs themselves were huge. The rice was fine - a bit dry but edible and tasted good enough - the vegetables were seriously lacking. They were more soup than a vegetable side dish. Now I usually like vegetables - but this was not appealing.

The VERDICT: Filling meal - good enough, when in a bind.

On a completely different note - and on a completely different day - but I figure they still deserve props - my friends ordered from a place called HaTabun VeHamangal - which is the McDonald's equivalent of an Israeli typical restaurant (they're a chain and I think they have one in every city). There are the more generic versions that can be called Mangeliyat HaSteak, Steakiyat HaTabun or any other such thing, and they all usually bring you with your meal a lot of salads and pitas - with free refills.

This place decided that if the customer isn't going to come to them - well hell, they'll bring it to the customer. This was the most insane order I've seen in a long time. (They offered a table and chairs too! But you know there's a limit to what one person can eat.)

SHANA TOVA U'METUKA AND CHAG SAMEACH TO ALL OF AM YISRAEL!

May this new year bring us many good 10Bis meals!

Epiphany.

There has been an annoying phenomenon I've been encountering since my first order with 10Bis.

I'm having trouble finding a place I really enjoy ordering from, and not one that's just good enough in comparison to the other sub-par places. What surprises me the most is that I've ordered many times from a lot of these places from home, and it's been great.

So here is the thought...do these restaurants see a 10Bis order and they think - eh, we can just throw this meal together - no biggie? What is it about a 10Bis order that makes every restaurant fail at the basic task of providing a good meal?

It might be the many orders that come in simultaneously - but really, if they had a packed restaurant would they behave the same way? I'm fairly certain they wouldn't. It's just something in that 10Bis Mark of Cain.

Take the following restaurant.

Ba Li Kooskoos.

The ORDER: The Orange Dish המנה הכתומה - Chicken drumsticks with Carrot, Squash, and Yams

The PRICE: 29 NIS

The DELIVERABLE: I've had this dish tons of times - it's one of my favorite meals. This restaurant sits on the corner of my street. I've ordered this dish from home, and I've had take out. I just don't get it. While it tasted the same. It came with 25% less cous cous, and no vegetables in the soup. This is a place I KNOW can do better than that. It's really disappointing. They've had really low scoring on 10Bis and I've been urging everyone to eat there, since I really did like what I had in the past. And lo and behold, even one of my favorite places was pretty lame. (And I've lost some credibility in doing so...REALLY THEY'RE GOOD I PROMISE!)

Maybe I'm being too hard on these places, but I know that in their heart of hearts - they don't even want to have to work with 10Bis. They want to be one of those restaurants that can forego 10Bis and still be successful. But they can't.

So why not appreciate the customers you have through 10Bis?!

I just don't get it.

The VERDICT: I usually love this place. Good taste - could use a little more umph.

Consistency is Key.

So despite my previous incident, I decided to be a renegade once again. (This could likely have been sheer stupidity - but I like to consider it being adventurous and bold - I may have also seen someone recently eating this dish and thought it looked rather appetizing - but that doesn't detract from my renegadism/ity).

BENTO
The CLAIM: Noodles/Rice Stir Fry with Chicken and Vegetables מוקפץ נודלס/אורז נתחי עוף וירקות
The PRICE: 34 NIS


The DELIVERABLE:
Now this is what stir fry is supposed to look and taste like. The right noodles - not those gross XXXL ones that have the consistency of worms (I know this from watching Man vs. Wild) - it even came with those little sweet potato fry things on top - I love those! And the right vegetables - no extranious corn/peas.




My only complaint is that there wasn't enough chicken - by the time I was halfway through there was no chicken left (and this being one of those times when I didn't intentionally pick out all of the chicken first, and then pout about it later).

I also need to give Bento props for their exceptional branding. I really do like their distinct bags/chopsticks/boxes. It makes you feel like they care about their image, and consequently - their customers. It also gives you this nice fuzzy feeling inside that you know no matter what - it'll always come packaged nicely.



The VERDICT: Good price + good meal + pretty little boxes.

Denied.

So just as a POC (that's a proof of concept for all the non-nerds who read this blog...uhh, who am I kidding really?) of my previous post - note the time the pic below was captured.

That's right 10:10 like clockwork - the site fails to load. I love how you always have one more refresh left in you - just when you think you're all out.

Guess who had to order a lousy salad from a local place that thinks alfalfa sprouts are cutting edge and need to be put in everything (including your soda)?


Just shout it out when you think you know the answer.

So Much for Reliability.

So not only does the current scoring system suck (it'll take a while before the new system actually bears fruit...) - it's completely not reliable.


Why is it that in all of the categories this restaurant has a 4-5 star rating...yet an overall score of 2 1/2 stars?!





Now I'm not the mathematician of the century, but something smells fishy to me.

Conspiracy anyone??

Delicious Self-Torture

I only let myself order Indian food about once a month - because despite the pleasure in the eating, it leaves a trail of destruction in its wake.

Knowing this - I chose to order Tandoori.

The CLAIM: Tika Masala Lunch Deal עסקית טיקה מסלה
Served with a side of rice, lentils, potatoes, and naan.
The PRICE: 30 NIS

The DELIVERABLE:



Although this may not look so appetizing (and the packaging could have been better - their food always leaks) - the taste delivers, and it's definitely a bargain.





My favorite part is the Tandoori surprise. The order claims to come with a side dish of "lentils", but every time I've ordered it's been something else: beans, chickpeas, miscellaneous glop. It tastes good though, so I can't complain.


The VERDICT: Taste is good - can be a bit messy. Brace yourself for a good helping of heartburn after though. The lunch that keeps on giving.

10Bis Fail. D'oh.

So I encountered the 10Byte below on Twitter, and felt I needed to post it.










I really couldn't give a crap what 10Bis is having their period about - if they make a gross error like this - they better get their ass in a cab and personally pick up that Aroma salad. WTF? What gives? You pay for a service - and they just don't provide it. What kind of bullshit is that?

What's 10Bis good for if not to ensure you actually get your friggin lunch. That's their entire job - they don't do anything else.


Just when I think they're getting their act together.

Mission Accomplished

10Bis made the change - along with some other nice GUI changes....and within the week as promised.

It doesn't get better than that!





I just hope it's not on some alternate website that only I'm redirected to - and everyone else thinks I'm nuts.

(I think I'm the first person who used it).

Nothing to Write Home About

So today's lunch was a bit thrown together and last minute - as I only got to the office at 11:00.

I had to order from some local place called the Ass Cafe (I'm thinking they meant Ace - but we won't be sticklers).

The CLAIM: Sandwich Lunch Deal עסקית כריך

A sandwich on rye bread with a drink.

The PRICE: 19 NIS

My CHOICE: Egg Salad Sandwich on Rye with Tomatoes, Lettuce, and Pickles with Coke Zero.

No Special Requests.

The DELIVERABLE: An egg salad sandwich on rye with tomatoes, lettuce, and pickles & Coke Zero.

Pretty simple.

What you see (and what they write) is what you get.

No big news here. I guess it's value enough for the price.

The VERDICT: Could have been worse.

On another note - while it's no brainer that Pizza Hut is the best pizza in Israel - apparently their service level is up to par as well.

Three colleagues of mine ordered the three pizza deal (yes - the boys have an appetite) for 120 NIS.

One of my colleagues - entered peppers for his topping choice - and requested in the comments that they actually top it with Feta cheese as it wasn't among the options, and lo and behold:

They did.

Good job.

Oh, but just as an FYI - this order did come with a suspicious energy drink called "De Puta Madre - 69 Para Siempre". Seriously. Which the Rabbanut approved. I guess their Spanish is a bit rusty. Now that's class Pizza Hut.

Plain Chutzpah

Quick gripe of the morning...so apropos the taking advantage of people when their hands are tied post below.

A good example I encountered this morning.

I went to say goodbye to my mom at the airport - and we decided to have coffee.

Now, I should say - I live in Tel Aviv - potentially the most expensive city in Israel, so I know the price of coffee. Even the higher price of coffee. Coffee at its most chic, luxurious, indulgent price.

19 NIS is plain extortion. I was literally insulted by the gall of it.

Juiceland at Ben Gurion Airport charges 19 NIS for a large coffee! Really?! (And in case you can't see my face - it's rather taken aback). That's obnoxious to say the least.

A quick aside - the coffee place at the arrivals area only charges 15 NIS (not cheap either - but not so out of line) - so you're better off getting your coffee there, before you ascend to the departures area. McDonald's also has a McCafe if you're willing to sacrifice a bit of quality.


I don't often like supporting establishments that clearly exploit their customers - but this time my hands were tied, as my mom was waiting (and didn't have much time for me to take one of my consumer stands).

However, next time I shall be well aware ahead of time - and I shall be sure to not support such a venture.

Talk About Good Customer Service!

I must give 10Bis huge props for a couple of things.


See Tweet below:

1) It's alway heart-warming to see even SMEs in Israel being technotronic. It never ceases to amaze me. So - way to go 10Bis for Tweeting.

B) Props on the high level of customer service - it's a rare thing in Israel - and certainly noted and appreciated.

Now - we just have to see if they actually make it happen.

And We Have a Winner Folks...Bisim!

10Bis has broken my free spirit. While I previously liked to consider myself open to trying new things...after a few serious debacles, I decided to forego this audacious, brash, rash behavior.

I like to go for a sure thing now.

Bisim is a sure thing. This is the third time I've ordered from there (and although there were two stain incidents with my other meals - which obviously cannot be attributed to them in any way - but annoying nonetheless) I must say I'm a happy camper once again.

The CLAIM:

Caesar Salad with Chicken Breast, Lettuce Hearts, Cherry Tomatoes, Red Onion, served with a roll of choice

My CHOICE: Caesar Salad

Special Requests: Chicken and dressing on the side

The DELIVERABLE: What can I say? They don't disappoint.

From the PACKAGING:

Everything was separated as asked for, and neatly and cleanly packaged - and I got TWO (rather fresh - might I add) rolls! Score!

To the FOOD:

The condensation on the container tells you it's fresh vegetables that came nice and chilled - while I'd have preferred more lettuce hearts (it was mostly regular chopped lettuce) - this was definitely not one of those salads you could have chopped yourself. Nicely cut, attention to the size of the vegetables (onions thinly sliced - as they should be), with a nice freshness to the vegetables. Plus - they didn't add any unmentioned/undesired vegetables. I hate the vegetable surprise.

The chicken as you can see also came warm - which is a tough combination and very impressive - chilled salad plus warm chicken. Definitely earned extra points for that.

The seasoning of the chicken was perfect for Caesar salad. I have a serious issue with places that'll market their chicken salad as a Caesar salad when there's no real differentiator between the two. The chicken is usually grilled the same way on some flat top grill whether it's for a chicken salad, Caesar salad, or grilled chicken breast with french fries. Such is not the case with Bisim - this is the exact seasoning for Caesar salad. (Which may be a complete coincidence - making their chicken salad or grilled chicken with fries taste very similar to a Caesar salad - but since this was my dish, I was rather pleased). The dressing was also just right. Although this was a kosher restaurant - so it couldn't be the traditional anchovy Caesar salad dressing - it was as close as it comes for the kosher version.

The VERDICT: Full stars all around - except for speed - because really even though they arrived earlier than most, it still took two hours. Definitely RECOMMENDED.

The Lag

I definitely agree with the 10Byte below.

Why do establishments, that would never allow such a lag in delivery time for a home delivery, enable this 10Bis phenomenon?

50 mins. (the average delivery time when you order from home) is torture enough when you're hungry - an hour and forty minutes is insane!




That would never fly in any other circumstance - so why exploit people that have their hands tied?

Not cool.

Pre-Breakfast Lunch

As if the constant 10Bis trials and tribulations aren't enough - they consistently want to test your dedication.

For example. Before you've even finished your morning coffee, and have gotten past the daily nausea from the cafeteria in the building lobby that seems to be frying onions at 9 a.m. EVERY DAY...you have to know what you're having for lunch. Because 10Bis really has a great customer retention policy.



Note that all the orders close at 10:30 a.m.

And while you may be thinking - 10:30 isn't that bad to start thinking about lunch - well guess again. You can't really procrastinate - like we all love to do - until 10:30, because their website seems to mysteriously crash EVERY SINGLE DAY at 10:07 until 10:43. So you really should know what you're having by 9:52 - you know so you're not eating fried onions from the cafeteria downstairs.

What gives?

Dim Sum

Since today's lunch was the final straw, and the impetus to finally start this blog, I must apologize for being a bit ill-prepared, and thus this post may be a bit lacking.

I promise to provide better visuals in the future.

The ORDER: Dim Sum - Noodles/Pad Thai עסקית נודלס/פתאי
Price: 30 NIS (Prices may vary)

The CLAIM:
Sauce Options:
Traditional Chinese Soy-based Sauce
Spicy Sauce with Coconut Milk, Chili, Peanuts, Scallions, and Cilantro

Dish Options:
Noodles with Tofu and Vegetables
Noodles with Chicken and Vegetables
Pad Thai with Tofu and Vegetables
Pad Thai with Chicken and Vegetables

My CHOICE: Noodles with Chicken and Vegetables with the Coconut Sauce
Special Requests: Not Spicy

The DELIVERABLE:
Two of us ordered from the restaurant. My co-worker order the Chicken Pad Thai - same regarding the sauce. I received a nice bag with separately packaged orders - with additional pickled vegetables - and one sweet and sour sauce, 2 soy sauce, and one spicy sauce for each of us, along with chop sticks, a fork, and respectable amount of napkins (which is really important to me since I have a tendency to really need napkins). The printout said "Coconut - Not Spicy". A good start.

Then I opened the box.

Talk about ugh. Double-ugh. It was beige and sad and limp and so not appetizing. My co-worker's Pad Thai didn't look much better.

It looked like the kind of stir-fry noodles you pick up at Lemon Grass or one of those awful Thai/Chinese places on your corner that use the chopsticks font or attempt some kind of lame play on words like "Met Su Yan".

I wouldn't really have had a problem if there were no further description besides chicken stir-fry - because then they can do whatever they want. I also probably wouldn't have ordered there - since I have yet to enjoy any stir-fry in Israel besides River Noodles Bar.

However, the seller was the - peanuts + cilantro + scallions - the only things I pretty much like in my stir-fry. It sounded very similar to Gong Bao chicken - which is one of my favorite Asian dishes.

So, you can imagine my disenchantment when I saw this colorless, depressing dish.

Not only was there no memory of a peanut, a speck of cilantro, nor a milligram of scallions in this dish, I'm fairly certain there was no coconut milk in it either.

In essence I think that all four dishes + both sauces are one and the same.

The VERDICT: Awful

A disappointment to say the least.

The Premise

There are certain things we all know about ourselves.

I know I'm a royal pain in the ass for most people. Because I have opinions. Lots of 'em, about virtually everything that I know/heard/dreamt about. And I like to express them. Often.

It really irks me when I can't express my opinion. So, I need to think of creative outlets for these gripes and kvetches.

While I've been hesitant to jump on the blog bandwagon, I decided at this point it's not so much about having a following - but more about being able to say my piece. Even if it's barking at the moon.

I established this blog, in part, since I feel I need to do all of us Israeli high-techies a favor.

I've been pestering 10Bis incessantly about adding a small comments area with the feedback option--because it's not enough for me to give 3 stars. I need people to know why I've done so. These are long thought out rankings, with rationales. I want these establishments to learn lessons, to evolve, to care. I want other orderers/rankers/eaters to take their civic duty seriously and provide a meaningful ranking of their experiences.

I want to know whether I'm going to have a crappy lunch.

I need this.

So what better way than writing a blog. Another non-descript blog to add to the masses of blogs out there.

Which probably won't be read.

At least I'll be able to sleep better knowing I've done my part in the struggle for a good lunch.

Oh and other random things I think I need to voice my opinion on.